"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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