One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think my vagina is haunted
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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