it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
