You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
