dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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