wake up i wanna do it froggy style
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
