Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
