how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize