I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
