We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
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He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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