Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
