Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
