Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im holly from the hills drunk
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
