I only kidnapped one of them. chill
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
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If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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