I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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