If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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