I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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