you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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