dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
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I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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