It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
