the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your penis caused this!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
