did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
