Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
