what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He shit in the fireplace
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
