no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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