broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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