I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize