i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
