I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
