Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize