At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize