you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
