I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
