At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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