woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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