he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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