When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
