Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
