I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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