I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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