I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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