Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
