I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
