The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
