That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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