i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
