..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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