is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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