remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize