We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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