i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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