Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
