i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
