i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
