If that was your dad, he is hot
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
