I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
