I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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